


Tired

by Trash_Lord



Series: Author vents through haikyuu charecters [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Actually mentioned, And this is about Yamaguchi bit hes technically never, Gen, Idk im sad okay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentioned suicide notes, Suicidal Thoughts, The POV is really weird, Weird ending?, im sorry??, this is probably horrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:44:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8099113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_Lord/pseuds/Trash_Lord
Summary: He's trying (but he's just so tired)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing

It feels like drowning.   
But it's not water in your lungs. (Gods, how you wish it was)  
But there's a crushing weight in your chest, it makes it hard to breath. 

The thoughts are always with you. Sometimes they're loud. Sometimes they're just whispers. 

The thoughts are begging for death. 

You know you're having an especially bad day is Tsukishima asks if you're okay. Your awnser will always be the same "I'm just tired. Sorry Tsukki!" (And you are. You're so tired. Exhausted really. Everything exhausts you) 

There are the days when you rush home so you can drag a blade across your skin. 

There are the days where you're almost late for school because you couldn't wait for the afternoon. 

You'll get so lost in thoughts some days that you'll run in to walls and stare off into space during practice.   
Sugawara has expressed his concern on these days more than once. 

You want to tell him. Either Sugawara or Daichi or Tsukki. Everytime they ask you want to tell. But there's something in your brain telling you that anything you'd have to say is just useless complaining and you shouldn't burden them. 

So you don't. 

Most nights you go to sleep thinking about how nice it would be to just sleep and sleep and sleep and never wake up. 

You write notes. You write paragraph upon paragraph telling them that you want to die. That things are so overwhelming and that you're so useless and you're tired of it.   
No one ever sees the notes. 

One day during morning practice Coach Ukai and Daichi pull you aside.   
There's blood seeping through the leg of your shorts.   
It had been one of the mornings where you couldn't wait.   
You thought you had been careful. 

You stutter out excuses and run to change. 

You know they don't belive you. 

They know that too. 

You know that Tsukki will have noticed both the blood and the coach and the captian talking to you.   
He asks you about it on the way home. 

You stay silent for a moment before deciding how to reply.   
(You're just so tired that it slips)

"I hurt myself this morning. I thought I had stopped the bleeding"

The two of you had reached the spot where you separate by the time you awnsered. So you keep walking. Tsukishima stays, stunned, on the corner of the street. 

By the time you get home he had texted you multiple times demanding to know if you had done it on purpose.   
Wanting to know what, exactly, you meant by that. 

You don't want to reply   
(You're just so tired and you can't really be bothered)  
But in the end you do.   
You tell him that yes you did it on purpose.   
You tell him that meant exactly what you had said.   
You tell him that you hurt yourself and that you don't regret it. It's not the first time.   
You tell him that you're tired.

**Author's Note:**

> More vent fics????   
> -Trash_Lord (Damien)


End file.
